Rash Decisions

So I woke up this morning, and was getting ready to start my day, when Nick crawls back into the bed and says "I called into work today, I am not going in." I just sat there looking at him funny, because he doesn't have a fever, and he never calls in sick. So I asked him if everything was ok, and he said yeah, but he wanted to spend more time with me. All sorts of things started to fly through my head, like does he have the swine flu, should I take him to the hospital, he looked ok, but maybe there was really something wrong. Like I said before he never calls in, but this was his first rash decision of the day.

I went upstairs after realizing this, and started to get things together for my day, knowing I would have the kids and nothing was ready. I poured my coffee, looked at the fridge and noticed that all of the pictures were re-arranged and every picture that had me or Nick in it was removed. I looked at Nick's uncle and plainly asked "What happened to the fridge?" He said, "I cleaned it off," and he walked out of the room. I decided he might also be nuts, but I realize after the fact that this was his final rash decision of the morning.

I went down to the basement, and I made the bed while Nick got ready to take a shower. I then saw that I had a netflix laying on the end table and decided to walk it out to the mailbox. I did this and on my walk back to the house, I noticed that all of the flowers I had planted in pots had been knocked over and "replanted" I walked into the house muttering "stupid ass" and went to drink the rest of my coffee that was now getting cold on the counter. Nick's uncle walked into the kitchen and said "Hey, I meant to tell you, I accidentally knocked over your plants. I tried to replant them, but they weren't looking to well so I just threw them in how I thought they should go." I looked at him blankly, and said "I thought they looked odd," and decided to forget about it. However, my attention was now on something else I spotted behind him. The Christmas card that we had given them, was folded in half, bending the picture completely and shoved under the phone book. It was obvious (to me) that this was nothing short of malicious, and I ultimately came to the conclusion that these had been one of his first rash decisions of the day.

Nick exited the shower. I made my rash decision. "I am done. I am taking my shower, and then we are leaving. I am done!" I said it all in a harsh whisper, and Nick knew better than to not take me seriously. It was my only rash decision of the day. Nick made a rash decision soon after and we left and went to Maryland.

Now, the reason it was rash is because I don't "know" all of the details. for all I know something exploded in the kitchen, and got all over our Christmas card, as well as every family photo that linked Nick and I to his. The one of Nick, his mother, his aunt, his cousin and myself at a wedding was even removed. The only pictures that remained were the ones of his kids, and one of his mother. Now rash as my decision was, I packed my shit and got out of there as fast as I could. I was not staying another moment in a place where I was not welcome. I did send his aunt a message telling her that is this is how he pays us back for paying his bills and postponing our wedding to do so, then he can watch the kids himself. I also appologized for the inconvenience it would bring her because I know she was expecting me to stay, so he could get on the road early. I am just stressed, and I made a rash decision. I am not going to defend it and say it was the best decision, or the right decision, but I will say that it was a decision I made and I will stand by it.

I also made another decision today. I will not be disrespected, walked all over, or mocked anymore. I mean obviously the last may still happen when my back is turned, but I really don't have to put up with any of it. I don't know why I was so happy before, being a doormat, but I am no longer happy, and there is no reason why I shouldn't be.