Dear LOST

I have decided after mulling it over for a week that I need to write a letter to the writers of LOST.
I love their writing, don't get me wrong, there are just a few details that i need to personally iron out before the next season begins. I also need to know what the heck kind of drugs they are on, and why they are not sharing them with the rest of the world. So here it goes:

Dear LOST writers,

I have been watching your show for a couple years now, and I have to admit, at first I was a band-wagon fan. However, I realized fairly quickly that I cannot always trust my father's opinions on television shows, and just because someone tells me it is a horrible show does not mean that it is. I am glad that I found some people to share the joy of watching LOST and am happy to note that you can now call me a happy bandwagon fan of the show. I do feel that you could extend the series a bit, but that it just my suggestion. I personally will not have anything to watch on Wednesday nights after the final season ends, and I will probably have to revert back to the stone age and read books again. That being said I think I have a few questions that i need you to answer.

1st- How are there two John Locke bodies? I understand that Jacob's little poser man whatever his name is possesses a body that mimics John Locke's but if it is in fact John Locke's body, then how is it that there are two bodies? I would also like to know how it is that Christian has a "spirited" body on the island, but John Locke does not. I think this is unfair and something that you should consider explaining to me.

2nd- I am sick of trying to figure out if Claire is dead. I am sure at this point that she is, and that she was just a manifestation to those who saw her after she died, however, she was holding Aron at one point so that perplexes me. How can a ghost hold a baby? I know, the island does wondrous things. Stop it already!! It's Jacob doing wondrous things and now he is gone... or is he?

3rd- Why did some people actually die on the island and others not? Some of the people who "died" came back as a spirit thing, and others were simply put in the ground and never heard of again. I think to be fair, all dead peeps should be allowed camera time.

4th- Smoke monster = Jacob's friend dude? I think so, but I am not sure, and if this is the case then why did Jacob's "friend" not kill him long ago. It seems that smoke monster thing was all about wreaking havoc, and it couldn't kill one measly man? It seems ridiculous and I don't believe it, but so far that's all I got. Otherwise, how would the smoke monster persuade the spirit of Ben's daughter to tell him to do what John says? Does the smoke monster hate Jacob too?

5th- Last one, don't worry, my brain simply cannot handle it. The last episode was called "the incident" now I am assuming that by incident they mean the bomb blowing up the new station, but it all confuses me because if that is "the incident" then the station would not have gotten built and they never would have found it when the plane crashed, and if it were never there, the plane would never have crashed anyway. So what was "the incident" in the episode? Killing Jacob? That is my other theory, but I am never quite sure if I am just being a retard about things.

Thanks for reading, and should you not get back to me with all the answers, I guess I will just tune in next season and figure everything out myself. Let's hope that you don't forget any!