Sometimes I Get Angry and Want to Cut off Your Head With a Cake Server.

And then there are days like today where I can't remember why I was mad, and I am thankful you are in my life. I realize that Nick's mother is sacrificing a lot and as much as she gets on my nerves, it is nice to know that I come before her own daughter. Well, that might not be 100% correct, but I think it is pretty spot on, at least for the day. Nick's mother decided that after I have been asking for about two years for a crocheted blanket, it was time to give me one. So for my birthday this year she has been making it for me, and I have been diligently pulling yarn out of the skeins in order to help her. Today though, she reached the end of the final skein, and also found that she was not finished, so in order to finish up what she felt would be the proper size, a king size bedspread, she went into the basement and her gallery of blankets that she had started, and pulled apart the one she had been making for her daughter. At first I was shocked, and almost scared because I do not like facing Maria when she is angry, and her anger usually sets me off. However, I thought about it and realized that if things go as planned, I will not be in MD any longer than this Friday, and all of my stuff will be trucking with me to NY. Therefore, I do not have to suffer the wrath of Maria, and her mother can deal with the fallout. Which led me to a rather convincing point that Maria probably forgot about the blanket, and her mother felt that it was time to give at least the fabric of it, a new life.

So she did, and after about two hours of pulling yarn, re-wrapping yarn, and even inhaling some fibers I was able to ball up two 3.5 lb balls of yarn to keep her busy. Now, I am not an idiot, I know she is not going to use it all, but it was simply the fact of the matter that I could take it all apart that made it all worth it. Plus the dryer repairman got a kick out of me choking on fiber, and holding a massive ball of yarn next to my head for comparison. So in order for you to get the full effect I have included three pictures that I feel show off that mass that is my blanket and the balls of yarn that will finish it off. In order, we have the blanket that is seemingly unfinished, the two balls together, and my big head next to a bigger ball of yarn!

You Know...

I don't care that you had my number, but didn't call me.
I don't really care that you forgot, just like you did last year, and the year before that.
I don't really care that you didn't get me a gift for that matter.
I don't really care that it slipped your entire family's mind.
Not only that, but your aunt and her family forgot too.
I care that you are so fake about how "sorry" you are.
About not picking up the phone,
How sorry you are
About forgetting.
How sorry you are
That "I wasn't here in MD"
A place where nobody would have given a crap anyway.

I am pissed that you are so selfish
To think that I would even WANT to spend it here
With people who lie to me through their teeth.
People who send their kids up to say sorry.
After making me slave over their dinner.
After you told me you would be right out to take over.
After I told you I had no idea what I was doing.
How dare you
Complain that I made it wrong.
How dare you
Sit there saying that it's burnt and dry.
How dare you
Pretend to care.
Because honestly, I don't care.

If you burn your mouth on the food I cook.
If you remember every birthday of mine for the rest of my life.
If you buy me filler crap to make up for being selfish.
Because I know the truth.
Everyone is selfish.
How dare they claim it for them.
It's mine and it always will be.
There is nothing
You can do to change it.
There is nothing
You can say to make it better.
There is nothing.
That I wanted more
Than you all to forget my birthday.

People Say we Monkey Around

So I have decided that I like my Birthday best when it is rainy and nasty in NY. I also found out that I thoroughly enjoy NOT having hangover from my mother bottle feeding me wine the night before, but I had to suffer without the enjoyment of that this year. However I did like knowing that if I want to cure a hangover, the only way to do it without driving yourself nuts is to go look at apartments for a week and decide that they all are creepy or over-priced, and then find one on your birthday that more than meets all of your requirements. We did find an apartment, and had key in hand before leaving it at noon on my birthday. Needless to say, we sat in the car, and my fears and stress melted away. Now I only have the stress of a central New York job search on my shoulders.

On a major plus side, the dreary weather died down and we were able to enjoy ourselves immensely as the sun came out and I took some gorgeous pictures of my mother's yard. She has some of the most amazing flower beds that I have ever seen, and people always drive by a little slower to take in the beauty at least once a year. I actually have known people that have driven by yearly, just to take pictures and ask questions. Thankfully my mother can answer them all, and I am usually stumbling for plant names (the above are hostas, one of the only ones I know).

So the "Golden Birthday" (apparently the birthday where your age matches the number day you were born. In my case I turned 26 on the 26th) was a blast. My cousins came from Buffalo, I ate chicken club Foccacia sandwiches from O'Scugnizzo's and had many many pina coladas, after getting out of the rain. I have a new bag to add to my collection of bags thanks to my brother and his fiance, and even received my Lennox collection cake servers (pictured above) from my Maid of Honor/Cousin. In the process, we post-poned out wedding, and I took a step back to enjoy the amazing life I have, and how beautiful life is when you take is a bit slower.

I did however miss not seeing a certain someone. But in honor of her, had a Vegetable Giambotte from the Creekside cafe. Hope all is well!

He Can't see without his glasses! Put his glasses on!

So I am having a small issue where I cant decide what I look good in. As you see above I was playing around with a program on the internet which is supposed to help you figure out what kind of glasses look best on your face. However, I could not decide between these six photos. The glasses are all a bit crooked, so you kind of have to use your imagination, but I nee YOUR help! Which do you think looks the best? Do I look smart, or funny in the glasses, and which one should I pick this Saturday when I go through the torture of my first eye exam in 2 years? Any idea of what you like on me would be helpful.

Photo time?

I didn't forget, it just had nothing to do with my last blog post. I really like this picture though. Reminds me of simpler times, and simpler things in life. I wish I had gotten a shot of a step back in the frame because there was a really awesome broken piece of railing, but I think the pristine railings are what makes this photo me. (Oh, and do you like my watermark? Have to add that to all my photos now thanks to Facebook and it's photo policy not protecting the publisher.)

You Are What You Eat

And in my case that would mean I was a bowl of sliced fresh fruit. Fruit that our birds are not interested in despite their interest in the dried variety of the same. I find it odd. They don't seem to want anything that is not dried out and bland. I hate that they are so picky, and really wish that instead of squawking for water, they would try the fresh stuff because not only does it give them food, but water as well. On the plus side with them, they have a new water dispenser, and thankfully this one does not leave piles of water all over the floor. The downside is that they drink like fish, and the water needs to be filled every morning. Another thing is that they are picky about their water. Heaven forbid the water does not have their vitamins. They screech so loud in protest! Which brings me to the reason of my post. High maintenance. I think I might be.

I never really though about it before, but I really do think that I am. I don't think I am horrible about it though like the typical high maintenance person, but there is a lot of stuff that has to go right in order to make me a human. For one, I have special dietary needs. I tend to have a certain organization about what I can eat, and what I cannot. I shy away from anything new, for fear I will hate it, or find out what is in it and avoid it for my health. I wish at times that at least with food I could be less high maintenance, but it seems like I simply do not have it in me. I want to eat healthy, so I tend to pick around things that aren't and eat only the good stuff, like this bowl of fruit I had this morning for breakfast, which killed my high maintenance morning, but made me feel very satisfied with my choice.

I keep evaluating other things in my life, and am finding that my choices really are getting ridiculous. Like my obsession with needing at least two footwear choices at the front door at all times. (right now it is one black, and one blue/green so that my outfit will always be complimented by my footwear.) And let's not even mention that I walk around barefoot most of the time anyway, so this really should not be an issue at all. My issues come into play in just about everything I do. (I refuse to do anything before brushing my teeth in the morning so my day starts with regime) They quite possibly are getting in the way of my having a normal life. I don't know how other people live, but I know that Nick's entire family, and mine for that matter, can get up and do things in the morning without taking a shower. In fact, I know a lot of people who don't mind lounging around in the pajamas for half a day, but for some reason, anymore than ten minutes and I start to feel creepy, even if I took a shower the night before.

It's these little things (things oddly similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) that make my day "normal" for me. I mean honestly, the only reason I can sleep at all this week is because I know that I have picked out all of my clothes (and packed Nick's) ahead of time, and laid them into perfect rows in the closet. I know what I am wearing tomorrow, and the next day, and even on Friday. Without the dryer working however I am starting to freak because what on earth am I going to do if I can't wash my clothes? I refuse to pack dirty clothes for a week long trip. Can you imagine how bad my suitcase will smell if I pack dirty clothes in it and it travels 6 hours in a hot car? I need to let go, and stop being so controlling over every little detail. And on that note, I am off to find something I can spray on my luggage when I get to NY, in order to take the smell of musty clothes out of my luggage. Any suggestions?

Forbidden Fruit

Or mushroom... It came back and I thought you would like to see what it looked like in all of it's glory!

Happy Cake!

So the kids had a great birthday weekend. Saturday they had the freedom to hang out with their friends, and do what they wanted, and then Sunday was family time. Their aunt came with the twins and her older daughter and we had a lot of fun playing, eating and enjoying life with virtually no stresses! It was great and I was totally thankful that she left her husband behind. Although she knew he would be cheating on her while she was gone, at least she was able to enjoy herself. I think she realizes that she can't save her marriage, but she is still willing to put all over her energy into making her kids happy, even if he will try to destroy it all for her.

The greatest part of my day was opening the door to see the babies, and have Kristina scream "JESS!!" and run into my arms. It made me want to cry, but I am happy that they have not forgotten me. It's just one of those things that you think are going to happen, and hope to God it won't. I think my biggest fear was that all of the bonding that we had would go to the wayside because we were no longer there everyday. However, I get the feeling that their mother has been bringing us up as much as possible, especially with all of the problems that they have been having lately. Apparently their TV blew a bulb and it is over $100 to fix. That and all of the other bills are putting them under financial strain again.

Anyway, Maria and I took the kids to the park nearby her house so that the "adults could talk." We all know what that means, so I was more than happy to get out and have some childish fun. The younger kids have really never really experienced anything like swings, or slides, so I was more than happy to let them run free and have a blast. They were a little hesitant at first, but they took some risks, and they had a bunch of fun! Kristina (the twin girl) was a little dramatic when she fell into the dirt, but Kevin was all about dropping in and seeing what it tasted like. He realized pretty quick that dirt is disgusting, and I was happy to have a bottle of water handy! Anywho, the picture above is all of them on the play-set together. The other is a picture that I took of them picking flowers for their mother.

Maria proved to be a really good helper, and I really didn't have a lot to do with her there. She enjoys the kids, and she was very mothering. I think that it is almost time for her to be able to take the reins and start babysitting. Even if it is only for a few hours with adults present.

Stranger Danger!

That is what the kids were screaming at Nick when he went on a trip with them to Northbay. Apparently it was one of those "learning experience" camps, and it was no vacation. The kids were worked hard, and did not have a ton of fun. But now it is their birthday, and they get to have a little. Yes, the little munchkins are eleven, and they look just like they did when they were turning ten and I first met them. Though now, Maria has bigger feet than me, and is a lot taller than the short little thing that I saw when I first met her. Then there is Marko, who in two years has quite possibly grown one whole inch, and has learned more about 1 person shooter games than anyone could imagine. They still have the same attitude and humor that I fell in love with when I first met them.

Maria's is almost a defiance of the norm, and I love it. Sometimes I call her Marla, or Emo, and she laughs with me like she is my little sister. We never fight though and I find that really awesome. I know she looks up to me, and has adopted a lot of the hobbies that I had had as a kid, just by knowing we now have something in common. She likes to be creative and we tend to do a lot of things together now that she has adopted a lot of new interests. We take walks together, and many times we talk about things that are bothering her. I see myself as someone that I wish I had had at her age. She talks to be about problems at school, and I share with her all of the things that I went through that were similar. I think her knowing that there is someone who understands that is closer to her age than her mother helps her to grow, and I am glad I could be a part of at least two years of her growth.

Marko's attitude is a "take no prisoners, I will out-do you in any game" and challenging personality. He always pushes us to the limit, and sometimes tests us beyond our limits. But he does it all in good fun and for everyone to learn. I don't think he realizes it entirely, but Nick sees a lot of him in Marko, and it's nice for Marko to be able to talk to someone closer to his age than his father. Marko is the one I like to scare in hallways, who freaks a little, but always tries to get me back. Once I fell down half a flight of stairs because he scared me so bad, but we laughed about it because it was the best scare that I had ever gotten, and I was proud. Marko has taught me that if you can't beat someone at a game, have Marko take over, and you most likely will achieve a win. I let him take over almost all of my games especially those that I am not entirely interested in. He loves to kick butt, and sort of rubs it in your face, but when we play co-op, we dominate and that is the best!

So in honor of the kiddies, Happy Birthday Twins! I hope it is a great day, and even though you don't read this, I hope all your dreams for the year come true... except those that bring Marko to world domination.

Mushrooms and Morning Glory

Yes, those are what the pictures I have included are. Actually the mushroom was half eaten and looked a lot more forbidden the day before, but it still looks like whatever ate it probably died. The morning glory is my best guess as to what flowers were spilled on the ground.

They remind me of Alice in Wonderland, and I can't help but chuckle as I think about all of the things that that girl ate, simply because they said "drink me" or "eat me" on them. I honestly think that Alice in Wonderland was the key point in the FDA putting warning labels that were clear on all of the food packaging in the world. Plus, I have my suspicions that Alice was most likely on drugs, and not dreaming. It is very possible in my mind that she was in a chemically induced comatose state of being. However, her teacher did all too easily wake her up. I guess the world will never know why a little girl like that can have such trippy dreams. I wonder how she was when she finally grew up. Any theories?

The Path that Winds

So like most people in the world, I have never really been physically active, but due to changes recently I have decided it is in my best interest to become physically active. My fiance bought me a great game called Wii Fit where I can do a body test where it weighs you and drops your self esteem a bit before you jump into a workout. There are ones that range from yoga, to strength training, to aerobic activities. My favorites are the aerobics because they tend to be really fun and not to boring. So every night before bed I spend between 20 and 30 minutes being active. Last night was one of the more fun nights because, after taking the dog for a walk and deciding that today I will try to take a picture of what I feel is a forbidden mushroom, I went upstairs to my makeshift sleeping quarters/game room to work out. However I was torn because there was a show on tv that I REALLY wanted to watch.

My solution was simple enough at first. Watch the show, then work out. But no, I have to make things complicated. I always do, working out should be no different. The part that I like so much about the Wii Fit is that there are certain excercises that you can do while watching a show. you simply change the inputs and the remote talks you through them. Thankfully I have done this a bunch of other times when netflixing, but this time it was going to be a challenge becuase I didn't have a remote. I did it though, and my trashy show of the night was watched while I did 30 minutes of stair step aerobics. It was fun, and I love doing it, I just hate that I don't get results.

Dieting sucks, and I have always said that. I eat really healthy, at least I have always thought that I ate really healthy. I eat a bowl of Special K or a wheat bagel in the morning, sometimes I skip lunch, but if I eat I eat a sandwich of very bland proportions. I always make vegetables with dinner, and I love all green veggies which are supposed to be the best kind. I love poultry and don't eat a lot of red meat, I don't really like hot dogs or burgers, so you would think with all of the salads I have to replace them I would be in good health. However, the Wii Fit shouts at me everyday "That's Obese" in a chipper voice that drives me nuts, and reminds me that this is a struggle I will have to go through for a long time. no matter how many hours I spend running after kids, walking dogs, or taking nature walks with Maria, I will always have to do 30 min or more of Wii Fit to drop my BMI by tenths of a point. One day it will be over, and I won't have to worry, but for now I stand by my rockin' trainer who somehow can pretzlize himself. As you see above, he is not too bad to look at.

Deal or Dud

It's an segment from the Nightly News in Philadelphia that I used to watch on Saturday nights. Products that you would see in "As Seen on TV" product lines are put to the test by a very charming woman. She has reviewed products such as Smooth Away hair removal (dud), Ped Egg (deal), Mighty Putty (dud), and the Pancake Puff (deal). I watch her because I am a sucker for the ads and really think that some of those products could be neat to try, I just don't want to be the one who gets suckered into buying a dud.

So I did a little investigation myself. They don't do products that are not on infomercials, so products from commercials that I am interested in tend to go by the wayside. I have been watching TV a little more frequently that usual, and on the channel at the time that I watch (Lifetime between 5pm and 8pm) there are a lot of ads that target women. One of those ads was a hair removal cream. I am lazy, so shaving sort of is a bummer in my day. The product they were advertising seemed like a simple solution to my problem. I decided that it was time for me to put Veet in Shower Hair Removal Cream to the test.

First I read the instructions, and I read them thoroughly because there were a ton of warning and I was starting to get a little scared. However it seemed as long as I abided by the instructions I would be alive at the end of the process. The application process was lengthy, simply because the product is so thick, you have to work it a bit with the sponge in order to get it to apply smoothly. I started with my right leg, made sure that I avoided all cuts on my leg, and jotted down the time after application on a piece of paper I had conventiently available. I then moved on to the second leg, finishing in just enough time to start the removal of the first leg. However, the package says that you have to wait 3minutes before entering direct stream of water, so the left side was not allowed in the shower yet. I noted that I had three minutes to remove some of the hair on my right leg, and started to do so with the abrasive sponge.

The removal was quick and easy. You need the water fairly hot to rinse the sponge properly, but other than that it was really quick. I was able to juimp into the shower after removing almost all of my right leg hair, and moved quickly through the rest of the process with the left leg. I finished my shower and got ready for my day. While dressing I noticed my legs were significantly smoother than they had ever been with shaving. I figured the bulk of the test would be seeing how long this lasted. So I waited. One day, two day, and now I am on day three, and no pesky hair to be seen. there is a slight stubble on my knee, and I think it is because the knees were in motion through part of the process and had a thinner coating of the cream, but as for the rest of it, still smooth as a baby's bottom. So, if you have a nice date to go on, or are going to the beach this would be a great product. However due to it taking up so much time, and using almost all of the tube in one application, it is a very expensive solution. (roughly $8.00 a tube)

Depending on how many days my legs continue to be smooth, I may change my rating, but right now it is a Dud, simply for expense and inease of use.

Windy City

So I don't know how strong the wind has to be to knock a person over, but whatever the strength it has to be, that was the strength of the wind today. I got knocked over by the wind, and watched as the dog almost suffered the same fate. I think the only reason it happened to me was because I was hurrying to get home and going downhill, but the wind caught me off-guard and I fell right over like a bowling pin.

The storms apparently get really bad down here, and I think it is because they are so close to the coast, but for the past couple nights, and actually quite a bit so far since I have moved in, storms have been ripping the development apart. It's to the point that there is really nothing for me to take pictures of. Maybe if things get really dicey tomorrow, I will shoot some disaster shots. Who knows.

Trix are for Kids!

And let me tell you, someone has been playing tricks on me!

I am the ripe age of 25, well 26 in 18 days, but who is counting!?! Anyway, for all those years that I went trick-or-treating, and I did so until my first year of college, (when some jerk decided to put dog food in my bucket thus ruining the holiday for me) I have thought and been convinced that I do not like Twix. I used to trade Twix with my brother and sister, and they used to taunt me because I had traded "the best candy ever" for something as ridiculous as a pack of Dots (which I really like! along with Swedish Fish).

However, today after reading a friend's blog I thought "what the heck, try something you think you hate, you may like it again" and convinced myself that the bite sized twix would not kill me, and in fact would make me stronger since my blood sugar at the time was feeling a bit low. So, I took one of the 10 miniature bars, and struggled through the first bite with apprehension. Then it hit me.

The chewy caramel, the crunchy wafer with a taste I can't describe, all wrapped in a delicious, smooth and creamy chocolate. It all hit me. Hard. Like a ton of bricks in an alternate universe with an increased gravitational pull. I like Twix. not only do I like Twix, but I think I love them! I was not amused! I was infuriated that I had let it go on this long without even testing it. It has been at least 10 years since I have had a twix bar. I always say "No thanks" when offered and feel like a turd because people look at me crazy. Well I WAS crazy!! How the heck did I ever think I didn't like Twix? All these years I had traded one of the best things I had ever put in my mouth.

Suffice to say, the pack of ten is now a pack of zero, and there is a hint of chocolate lingering on the corner of my crazed mouth.

Bird-Bird

So the birds are alive this morning!

And why did I think they would die? It is because I thought I quite possible had killed them when I cleaned their cage yesterday afternoon. It was entirely past due for cleaning, and frankly I was sick of looking at the poor things dirty in their cage. I nominated Nick's little (bratty) sister to help, and she did so with minimal whining and throwing of fits. I did the brunt of the work, and 90% of the dirty work. Mainly because I wanted to get it done fast, but partly because I wanted it done right. However, I was under the impression that birds weren't finicky about what washed their cage.

That was the case until I got about 95% through the cleaning process, and she finally piped up with a "You know you can't use dish soap to wash the cage right?" I seriously only had two toys left to wash and I was not about to turn back and wash everything with a different chemical. I felt that if I made sure to rinse everything well after washing it with the soap, they would be fine. And they are! They woke me up bright and early at 6:30am, as people were bustling about the house in order to get things together for their trip. And they have not stopped chirping and singing love songs to each other since!

The dog feels like it is harassment and he is huffing every five minutes or so, but I am just happy to find them alive. Although they are the two most anti-social cockatiels I have ever met, they don't deserve to die a horrible and painful death via Dawn dish detergent. So for your viewing pleasure, above is the only bird that will allow me to photograph it normally. Hre name is Boomer, and if you know Battlestar Gallactica, you will know it's not a masculine name. The other bird's name is Starbuck, and he is a male, but they thought he was a female so he was named badly. Oops!

4 Day Trip

Yes, the kids as well as Nicholas and his mother are all packing for a five day trip. It's some wilderness adventure thing that the kids get to do with their parents or guardian of choice in the middle of the woods while they should be at school. They get to rough it, but also have a lot of fun bonding with each other. Nick's father has a course to take, so Nick will be sitting in for him, but the packing is what has really become the adventure.

We went shopping for clothes and amenities that Nick was simply not prepared with when we made the swift move from New Jersey to Maryland. so we trucked our bottoms 40 miles to the nearest Walmart in order to get everything on our list and brought it all home. The first items he packed were easy, short and pants. He wanted a few of each so that he could have his choice. I didn't see this as odd, he packed 3 pairs of Jeans and 4 pairs of short. I guess if it gets cold he wants options, or if they are hiking. We then moved on to underwear and he took 5 pair which is normal because you might get wet and need the extra pair. however, when we moved on to socks I think he went overboard! He wanted 5 pairs of ankle socks, the extras being in case some got wet, and 5 pairs of long socks. I don't know what those are for! But needless to say he will be well prepared,

I also made sure that despite his dark skin already that he brough sunscreen. I don't want him complaining of a burn later, but just in case, he also has aloe tht he will be bringing. I feel like a mother, and I know this is going to sound odd, but every week I pull out what I want him to wear for work and casual during the week, so he hardly has to pick out an outfit ever. Even this morning, he woke up and went straight to the closet hoping that there was already and outift picked out. There wasn't which caused me to lean over to the dresser and pull a shirt out for him. I took not of the colors on it in order to make a suitable choice for a loose button shirt to go over top. Who needs kids? I think I do enough mothering already. However, our thoughts on that are still floating in the air. Everyone tells me to go for it, and that despite my fears I won't suck at it, I just fear for the poor things life!

Playing Dress-Up

Me and my sister used to all of the time. She would put clothes on me and make me look like an adult in heels, make-up and even sometimes a cute hairdo. Nowadays I hardly see my sister, but it seems like long ago, she still wants to dress me up. It's her job this time as I am a bridesmaid in her wedding, but when the cost is my expense, I get a little scared. I will be blowing $200 on a dress that I will wear once, possibly twice if I can get it altered and shortened to cocktail attire in time for my brother's wedding. It's a nice dress as you can tell by the above pictures (blue is the style, and the light brown is the color.)

I am not really a fan of the mocha, but it makes sense that she chooses it. Aren't all bridesmaids dresses supposed to be hideous? Hers is not hideous, but knowing all of the girls in the wedding (Pasty white and a little on the heavy side) they will not be all that flattering. It makes me kind of glad that I decided on Wine and Champagne for my colors because deep reds kind of flatter everyone! And speaking of wedding talk and how bridesmaids are supposed to be, mine could not have been picked better. All of mine are the same body type as well (tall, easily tanned, and stick thin!) however there is something missing. My sister. She doesn't want to be in my wedding. She wants to be there, but because she is married and was not picked as the Matron of Honor, she does not want to be in it. I think she is being a pain, but I am hoping that when I ask her again, and have my bridesmaids luncheon, she will reconsider. If not I have a replacement, but I really don't think things will be complete without her.

I have this dream that my mother and sister help me get ready and my father bawls his eyes out. That is why I am insisting on her being in the wedding. I haven't bugged her about it the way that I have bugged others about not being in it, but I also don't want to make too many choices without her at this point. I haven't chosen everyone in the wedding party, but I know it is going to be the most stressful on her regardless because 9 months before my wedding is her wedding. The more I think about it, the more I want to try and make things easier for her by helping pay for her dress and all of that small stuff, but with the load I have to drop on the dress for hers, I may not be able to afford part of hers too.

Why do boutiques do this to people? How much does a dress really cost to make? Do I have to break out a needle and thread and make my own dress? I am tempted!

Subscriptions Please!

So I have decided to fill my reading list with fun materials from Blogs! I never really thought of myself as that person who subscribed to random blogs, but I found a couple that really were something I would like. Feel free to peruse my subscriptions and read through the blogs I have added. They give me a little spice from different places other than where I sit. I think it's nice to branch out and explore, even if it is from the safety of my desktop.

And because I am starting to like the randomness of it all, my daily photo. This is a picture of one of the storms that rolled through. I didn't do time-lapse although I should have to catch lightning, instead I decided that I would focus on the beauty of the ominous sky.

On an Evening in Roma

I have decided that I want to go to Rome for my honeymoon. I think Nick will be all about it since it's Rome and not some random place like Greenland. It's just one of those places I have always wanted to go. I want to see the Trevi Fountain, and make a wish for a long and happy life together and all of that sappy love stuff. Plus I think it would be fun to taste the richness of Rome, and enjoy the natural beauty of the place. It was a tie between Sydney for a while, and then I thought about it, I want to go someplace that has history coming out its eyeballs and should I decided to hop the train and go to Spain, I want the option. So Europe it is! I think we will need at least a month, but I will settle for two weeks.

In other news, Maryland is being hammered at night by storms. Storms that I fear will at some time blow out the power to the development when I am in the bathroom. Its one of my biggest fears, and I constantly hold off from going to the bathroom during storms. I think it is because as a child my mother would put lanterns around the house when the power was threatening to go out, and one time while I was in the bathroom, the power went out and the lantern in there had no oil. I was scared and screaming for a good five minutes before my parents heard me. Ever since then I get a little irked by being alone in the bathroom in the dark. Though I think I would be more irked if someone were there.

Stages of Healing

I know there are some, I just don't know what they are offhand, and really don't care. I just want to know why I can't find any dandelions down here! I know they are a menace to society and anyone who looks for them is nuts, but I have seen a total of one, let me repeat that ONE, dandelion. It was too far away for me to do what I wanted with it, and I am frankly sick of looking for them. Should I need a frog, a bunny, or even a crane, I have my bases covered, but not dandelions.

You really don't know what you have till it's gone. I know I should not be complaining because the existence of the dandelion is not in short supply, but it makes for some really boring pictures if all I am taking is pictures of pretty, and nice things. I want to take a picture of a menace, and I am no good at self-photography!

On a cheerier note, the whole family has packed up to go to Sonic. I am staying here because I am not a fan of cramped car rides to Dover, DE. I shouldn't say that though because I have never been on such a ride. However, I pick my battles well, and the battle for my newfound garden on the XBox 360 seems a bit more my style than fighting for limited space in a vehicle with two eleven year olds. Speaking of which, they turn 12 next week, any good ideas on what I can make them for a cake?

Little Bunny Foo Foo...

I don't like your attitude!

That's what I had to say to Nick's sister yesterday. She was complaining that one of the boys in the development is really mean to her and one of her friends. I don't think she realizes yet that his teasing and picking is his way of flirting. Oh, to be a kid again!

So we walked around the development and we ended up running into him, and me being a sucker for cute little dogs, but still knowing that this kid was on Maria's hit-list, I chatted with him a bit about his dog and how I thought it looked a lot like a Shiba Inu, but I had never seen a Shiba Inu in person and if that was what his dog was, I was totally in love with the breed. He then ruined my hopes by telling me that the little squirt of a dog was a Labrador-German Sheperd mix. So much for a cute and adorable dog for me! (I attatched a picture of what she kind of looked like)

We kept walking and I did get some really nice pictures. The one above is the trail I will be headed down tonight. I think it is doing my knee some good to take these small walks and I am really beginning to enjoy not being in NJ. However now it seems that MD is corrupting me with it's niceness. For heaven's sake I helped bake cookies for the neighbors yesterday, I would never have dared in NJ!

Fetal Position

I feel like I have been kicked in the gut repeatedly.

Possibly because I unpacked all of our belongings by myself in order to make life easier for Nick. He is really stressed about not being around me for the rest of the time we are down here, and I am getting stressed about how much is going to be expected of me. As it is I have taken Nick's sister under my wing and she is following me around like a lost puppy.

She has this idea in her head that as long as she sticks with me, everything will be fine. She is afraid for her aunt and I think she somehow thinks I can miraculously get her aunt out of the situation. I can't though. I can't force someone out of a bad situation, and I know that one day she will understand, but sooner than that day she will hold it against me if something happens. She doesn't understand free will yet, and I think she has this idea that life is able to be picked up and dragged off, but she doesn't see how sometimes it is just not that simple.

I finally talked to my mother after far too long, and I think she had a small heart attack when she heard my voice. Her, and everyone else in my family assumed I was in the hospital and that Nick's uncle had attacked me. My mother offered to come get me, and told me if he touched me I should press charges. I ensured them all that he didn't touch me for what I can recall, but I wish that he had so I could have a reason to put him in jail that was more solid that his borderline alcoholism and prescription drug use. My mother is stilll scared even though I told her I was in a safe haven. She won't be satisfied till I am home.

In fact my mother has gone above and beyond to make sure that I have a great birthday after this. My cousins will be coming to see me, and I haven't spent real time with them since one day last summer. My mother also has plans to keep me occupied, until then I have to decide what kind of cake to suprise Nick's brother and sister with on their birthday. June 13th is their birthday and last year I made ice cream cake, but I don't have it in my to do a double decker this year. I am thinking I need to do something fun, but my creative juices have stopped flowing.