News About New York

There still hasn't been any, and it is driving me NUTS!!

I realize this is because they interviewed another person on Friday, and they have to go through all of the proper channels in order to make it fair, but come on people!!!

I am about to tell Nick that when they call (cause I am that confident that they will) that he is to demand 5,000 more than he was going to originally for MY pain and suffering.

I will settle for him taking the job though, which means they should get on with it already and offer it to him. That way I don't feel like I am jumping the gun when I decide to ask to start work at the Pub till I get a real job.

On a positive note, I officially have all of my summer flowers planted. they will be waiting happily outside for the next few months for the weather to get warm again. Thanks to tomorrow which is apparently going to be only 62, which sort of makes for bi-polar weather in comparison to today 93.

I am personally taking it easy indoors though because I already have a dual layer sunburn from the past few days, and my fragile skin needs a break. (yet again another reason I liked NY. At least it was deceptive about burning me. Here there is no breeze to disguise that I am being fried)

To Cezanne and Beyond!

So after the fun of the past weekend...

Me and Nick spent our entire Sunday making over 100 chinese fried dumplings with his sister for a school project.

...we are taking the week to act normal, going back to work and being boring people. Then, once Saturday morning hits, we are going to have a blast! He got us some free tickets to Cezanne and Beyond at the Philadelphia Art Museum. It is one of my finer sides that I like to enjoy. I like tramping around amazing art and realizing I may never be that great, but I will continue to try through my finger painting. It also makes me feel like I am taking part in history and culture. I feel that specifically is something that I lost completely when my education stopped.

It was like all of the books were telling us what culture and history was, but never pointed us in the right direction to actually go see it, touch it, smell it, and enjoy it! I am glad to be a part of it this weekend, and even more happy that I will be meeting some more of his co-workers. This time though it won't be surrounded by sweaty football players, and people who drink to much and curse at the NY Jets. In fact I believe that the people who will be going will be mostly female, friendly, and possibly have taken a shower in the past 6 months. Plus it is a complete change from sitting in his friends basement to avoid the scorching heat and watching movies.

I think the main reason I am so happy about this exhibit is because of what it will be featuring. It will have works by Cezanne, but also works that he influenced. I am giddy to know how a man who painted a portrait of "large bathers" was so influential, but at the same time am eager to find out who and how he influenced others.

Merry-Land

We are spending this wonderful Sunday in Maryland.
It is an unusually happy place. Kind of creepy actually. I am surprised that people can live so wonderfully together. I would think of living here myself if I didn't feel completely out of place.

I grew up in one of the smallest towns in NY, and we were bred to be really nice to those we know, but wary of those we did not. One of the reasons for this was because of the abduction of Sarah Ann Wood when I was a kid. People in my town were very scared of anything new, and until the laws were set in place to notify people of possible child predators, nobody felt safe. As a kid I would walk back and forth to school with my brother and sister, but I would never walk alone for fear that some predator was going to shove me in the back of his van. Little did I know that being raised a pain in the ass would make it hard for someone to deal with me.

I never liked meeting new people as a kid, and I think people knew this or found out fairly quickly after meeting me. I think I was kind of rude as a kid, and would often ask "do I KNOW you!?!" as if the new person could answer yes, and possibly surprise me. I was never rude to adults, but my classmates could probably call me abrasive. That was my defense mechanism. Now my defenses are down, and I am no longer scared of new people, I just avoid meeting new people. I guess people now would call me shy, or an introvert. However, that is not the case. I have a rule where no less than three of my friends can know you in order for me to trust you. I have no issue meeting people, I just don't seek people out. I guess that is what makes Maryland so hard for me to adjust to. Random people walking down the street will say "hello, how are you" and all i seem to mumble is "hi." It is somewhat scary for me to be surrounded by friendly people who don't know me, yet are eager to know me. The worst part is they all seem to know that I don't live here, or anywhere near, but they don't seem to care! I am wondering now if the entire state of Maryland is brainwashed. Where is all the road rage? What about the angry people you find in every other wal-mart in the universe? Nothing.

I bet I could walk into the local food lion, and forget to pay for water in the bottom of my cart, and they wouldn't drag me into the back room to finger print me like Hannaford in New Hartford once did for a real accident. I am not sure if people here are too nice, or putting on a show, but I think I could get used to not being thrown down by greeters at wal-mart for making the thing beep on my way out the door.

Male Chauvanist Pig

So the first time I ever heard that phrase, I was in high-school. I was watching a really bad movie called 10 Things I Hate About You, and the main character was sort of a shrewish girl who hated men. However she hated them for a reason. Her plight really hits home right now. I know a man who acts like a Pig 24/7. It is really scary that there are women who like to be treated like a piece of meat. I think that women who put up with that shit are weak and need help. I don't know how someone could put up with that crap all day long, and not have issue with it. I think that people like him should be punished for all of their crap that they make people go through. For instance, I heard him speak today about going out with one of his friends who is roughly 20 yrs younger than him, and saying how he would love to go out with him and "show the girls a good time" he also said that he would only be interested in ones who would get a "tramp stamp" for him, so they could remember the one night stand.

Now you have to understand that this guy not only has a wife and kids, but he is talking about all of this in front of me, as well as his kids! He sees women as objects, and he makes perverted jokes about what he could do to them, for them. I just think it is sick, and guys like him need to be shot.

I understand that some men are stuck in the past, and they feel as though they have earned the right to treat women like property, but do they know anything about history? The Women's right's movement happened! I would give him a history lesson, but I know he would tell me "go back to the kitchen where you belong" Thankfully I am stubborn. I am doing my part to make him miserable. I know he hates cheese, so this week I have made cheesy taco pasta, cheesy chicken salad, and tonight I am making cheesy chicken quesadillas. I think it will piss him off, and I am hoping he gets a taste of his own medicine. I am not "his bitch" and I will not be treated as such!

Ok, I feel better getting that off my chest! I think I should have been born in the past. I would have been a great activist. I would have loved to walk with Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton as they fought for women's rights. I am happy to know that I was born in the state where a lot of women's history began. I think I take for granted that NY is such a "fair" state when it comes to rights. I think other states don't have such pride, and therefore raise their boys to be idiots... or maybe I am just biased because I <3 NY!

Nightmarish qualities

When I was a kid I had a dream dictionary. I used to have some very vivid dreams, so I thought deciphering them through the dictionary was a great idea. I would wake up after dreaming and write every detail I could remember, before the dream slipped, into a little notebook beside my bed. When I was finally awake for good, I would decipher what my dreams held and write the interpretations below the dream in the book.

I came across that notebook this weekend and brought it with my to NJ to read over and have found it quite amusing.

On July 8th, 2000 I had a dream about riding elephants through the rain forest after quite some time, and getting unusally wet, the elephants started to turn colors, and run fast. We abruptly stopped in the forest by a winding river only to have the forest floor drop and me and my sister fell like Alice through the rabbits hole. things whizzed by our heads as we fell, but my eyes caught only the glittering gold of items that were passing. I felt like I was in a tunnel of gold, as I started to get wrapped by a glittering cloth. I fell asleep as it happened, and right into a normal bed.

the interpretations of this dream was that my life lacked adventure, I was struggling with my identity, things were going to change in my life, and I was scared of facing parts of my future.

I think it is funny because that was a generic description for everybody's life, and as a teen I thought it was the most insightful thing ever. I have ordered my mother to find the book and burn it. Crazy people trying to make money off a sucker like me!

Aquamarine Biology

I am a huge word puzzle fan. I love Wheel of fortune and trying to figure puzzles out, as well as doing logic puzzles and stuff like that. I tend to make puzzles out of things that happen in my life, and I tend to make twists in words and phrases to make them sound funny, or make puzzles people can't figure out. I was thinking about word puzzles today, and there is a small exercise that I do i my head more often now that I have so much time in my hands. Its like the before and after puzzles on wheel of fortune where I take something that someone says and combine it with another common phrase or item. I really like doing them in my head and making myself laugh, and today I was doing my usual "make a puzzle out of my conversations" exercise, and I realized that I am slightly psychotic.

Here are a few of my creations off of what I have heard this morning:

- Go Diego Go! Fly a kite!
- Pretty Pretty Princess house
- Chocolate Milk of Magnesia
-Duck Duck Gooseberries
- Toy Box Car Racing
- Nice Kitty Cat Burglar
- John Lock and Key
- Spilled Paint Brushes
-

now here is a fun part for you... can you split the thoughts in two? For example on wheel of fortune they will have something like "Chuck Barry Manilow" which splits into Chuck Barry and Barry Manilow

Mine aren't as fun as wheel of fortune, but I guess you can see how I make life amusing.

On an up-note, we are looking for houses in CNY. I don't know why we are so crazy, but I guess that means that things went well yesterday.

Shades of Grey

I am breaking the law?

Not really sure, and I think I need to get clarification.

I am in the process of buying the rest of the Twilight saga. However, I have this impatience about me that makes me not want to wait for the delivery. In fact I was so impatient that I decided that although I have bought the book and it has not been delivered, I needed a copy.

I searched one of my favorite questionable sites and I found the e-book versions and downloaded them to my computer. I have now read 3/4 of the second book in the 4 book saga and have the other two waiting, just in case the delivery arrives after I go home this weekend. I just can't go back to CNY and not have reading material, my mother would KILL me.

So My question is, is it illegal to get the e-book copy, that is bound to my computer, and that I will never share with anyone else? Here is my theory, and it is very possibly wrong, but since I bought it already at full price, plus shipping, I should be entitled to reading it immediately. The funds aren't useful to me, and as I see it I own the book. Since I will not be sharing them with anyone, and I got it off what seems to be a legal site, then I should be ok? I have no clue. I don't know what this file sharing crap is, I just don't want to be attacked by our awesome government over stuff like this. I understand the music business being crazy over stuff like this, but i can't really see authors flipping over it. I guess I could understand if I didn't intend on buying it, but I did buy it and am just impatient. Guess I should just learn to be patient.

I Miss Mayberry, Sittin' on the Front Porch Drinkin' Ice Cold Cherry Coke.

So I put my skills of wonderment into use today.

I think that I have a certain expertise when it comes to making useful items out of useless crap. Nick and I have been having issues with our Aero-Bed the past few times we have used it, and last night was sort of the end all for me. I can't find the puncture to save my life, but when I am rolling off the bed and landing easily on the floor with little effort, I know there is something beyond wrong.

So I flipped it over to find it's wound... nothing that I could feel or see.

So I pulled out one of our old ones. Now the one I pulled has a HUGE punture that I could see, it is the equivalent size as a large carpentry nail. I am not a brain surgeon by any means, but I can put two and two together and realize it is basically mendless and since the patch I had put on it was already useless from wear, it would soon be time to toss it.

However, I had an idea, and I am not sure why this came up, but there is a handy item that Nick's uncle has around the house called "Gorilla Glue" It expands to the size of the hole in which you put it, so I thought, why not use it and see if it works! My hopes were dashed though, when I found out that it was no longer to be found in the place I had thought that it would be. I decided that I would attempt to use the "nail glue" that I saw on the counter... I have used it many times, and it ensures a nice solid seal, so for the time being it might help.

Well witht he use of three patches that came with the matress, and tons of glue, I mended the bed. I inflated it, and sure enough it created a great seal! Now we haven't tested it out for a whole night, but I think Ms. Fixit has done a good job!! I am really hoping that this will last us the next four months. Regardless of where we end up after that, we will be out of here, and in a real bed. I am excited!!

Now on to mending the next bed... but first I must find the hole!

Lemon and Lime Bars

So when life hands you lemons what do you do?
Make Lemon bars cause they are tasty and awesome! (for some people, not me, I don't like lemon all that much)

So life handed me some lemons. I am thinking of making margaritas I want something fun and fruity to make the sourness surrounding me seem better.

The thing about it is that I feel like I should be helping the situation. I want to be a shoulder to cry on and I think my education is putting me in an awkward place. Now it is not the usual "home" drama, it is Nick's sister. She is going through this phase where she thinks the world is out to get her, and I try to reason with her and tell her that is will all be fine, but honestly at times i don't think it will be fine. I think things are really messed up for her right now, and she needs all the help she can get, but I don't want to get involved because i still see myself as an outsider. I know she needs someone to talk to, and i know she needs a big sister more than anything, but it's sad I can't be that for her anymore. I wish I could take her out of her situation and let her see it from my point of view. I think she needs more than anything to let it out.

She is the greatest artist that I have seen of her age, and I think she needs to hone her energy into her art. If you could see her pictures, you would see it too. She has an amazing talent that is being wasted where she is now, and I want her to see that she needs to let it all out and be happy with what she does. I think she needs to talk, and I want her to see that there are plenty of people who are there for her and she can talk to us whenever she wants. She came up with this idea that she is a burden, and now she has shut up about it. It hurts me to see her that way.

Moving

I realized this morning that I have to think hard about moving again.
It is the one thing I hate most. Packing up everything, making sure I haven't left anything behind, making sure I know where everything is when I get it back to where it belongs, and making sure that I am not going to lose my mind attempting to get everything back to where it belongs. So I have decided after thinking long and hard, I am going to move things back in shifts. First and foremost, all of our winter clothing will be moving back to my parent's house the next time we go back. There are not a lot of places to put things, but I think we will shove it in our storage unit for now, and deal with it later.

Another huge step was also putting my name and specific location of choice to realtor.com and getting updates on my saved properties. As it is I get updates for some places near Philadelphia, but since that it not my area of choice, I put some new places on the map. Most are within 25 miles of SUNYIT and I think it is my way of making sure that I am on top of things again. I never know where i am going to end up, but I know where I want to end up.

So today it is Easter and I am in Maryland with Nick's family. In a sense I am further away than I have ever been from where I want to be. I think I would rather be home with my family simply because I haven't seen them in forever. I knew it would be hard leaving, but I am realizing it is becoming impossible. I am very sad, and I feel pathetic thinking that I miss CNY. What is so special about CNY anyway? I have no clue, but I know it is a place I happily call home, and I am trying with all my might to click my heels and go back!

Flipping Out

So I have to enter with this. It is my defense for my actions in the past 20 minutes.

I was born and raised by a book lover. She takes pride in each and every book she has ever come across and passed this obsessive gene on to me. My mother is a librarian in my town, and therefore has instill the five rules of book ownership in me. They are as follows and I follow them to a T!

1- If you can't be careful when eating, don't eat while reading.
2- If you can't be careful when drinking, don't drink while reading.
3- Use a bookmark, they were invented for a reason. Dog-earing pages ruins the book.
4- Don't write in books unless you own them and you don't care about the condition.
5- If you borrow a book from someone, give it back in the same condition in which you were given it.

Now knowing this, I will tell you 5 highlights in the history of my book reading past.

1- I have always owned a bookmark. Actually I own about 25 bookmarks, all different types that I use in different circumstance. some even have places to jot down you page number and line to keep your place efectively. Others, and my most favorite are the ones that have magnets in them to align to the exact spot. I NEVER read a book without a bookmark, even if it means I have to make one.

2- I have never eaten, or drank overtop a book. The newspaper, or magazine, sure. NEVER a book. I am too affraid to get something on a book. Libraries have had fines for those types of things and I never had money to pay them, so I never took the risk, even with my own books.

3- I have never dog-eared a page except in a text book. honestly though I hardly ever did that either because I tended to use sticky notes a lot to mark important spaces and I always knew about where I ended up. I also hate when people dog ear my pages and it tends to make me a bit psychotic.

4- Whenever I borrow a book I treat it like a fragile doll. I don't leave it outside, or unattended in a house of maniacs. I tend to hide things and covet them as if they were treasure that I had to protect. Maybe that makes me obsessive, I think it means I give a crap.

5- I always return a book, or anything else I borrow for that matter, in the same condition in which it was given to me. Never have I ruined something and not offered to pay, or just buy it new in replacement. I feel EXTREMELY guilty when I do something that might be considered as ruining an item, and always treat that person with respect over the item, even if it is something simply like being splashed by a bus riding through a puddle on the way home, and it getting on the item I borrowed.

So my actions of the day are defended. Wanna know what I did?

i was doing some chores around the house, vacuuming and laundry, to help the family out cause I was feeling rather lazy. I went into the bedroom to put some clothes on the bed and spotted a brand new book of mine that I had let her borrow. I saw an unusually large gap in the book and went over to see of something was stuck in it. Nothing was, but the pages were dog-eared. In my head I flipped, choked, vomitted and screamed. Outwardly, I made a bookmark and shoved it into the pages. I sent her a message on her phone telling her that I noticed she didn't have one so I gave her one. In talking to her husband I would out that she had also been eating Red beans and rice over it the night before, and inside I seethed. I feel disrespected!

I may be flipping out over something stupid, but it is MY $24.95 something stupid. I am letting her borrow it, and I expect the same consideration given to my things as I give to hers. When I borrowed a sweater from her a month ago, I washed it after I used it, and I hung it back up in her room. I didn't let it sit on the floor for months and get moth ridden, and then return it. I respect her and expect nothing less. Am I crazy? I know some people will think I am, but do you?

Reading List for April

1- Finishing Twilight... going to get the 4 book series pack as well and donate my current copy to my mother's library when I am done. I officially love the book... juvenile voice and all.

2- Finishing up the last ten pages of "Are you there vodka, it's me chelsea"

3- Confessions of a Shopaholic

4- Shopaholic and Sister

5- Shopaholic Get's Married (that will finish up the juvenile reading)

6- The Next Thing on My List: a novel

That last one was a little ironic when I saw it in my suggestions for new reading material. I thought it probably should be the next book on my list lol.
And that may or may not be it for the month. I don't have a lot of time to read, but I am trying to do at least two hours a day to keep my brain in tact lol.

"I love you Ni-nee"

Those are the exact words that I heard Nick's goddaughter say yesterday as I was folding clothes. She hasn't really said "I love you" to anything other than her bear that we got her that, when you press it's hand, says "Kristina, we love you." Knowing this, you should probably know that these kids hardly ever see Nick, but when they do see him, their eyes light up, and they won't shut up.

This is also true when I am folding his laundry, as was the case yesterday when those precious words came out of her mouth. I was holding up an orange button-up shirt of his when clear as a bell those words rang out it jumbled baby-talk. I could hear it though, and when I looked up at her and smiled, she giggled and ran into the other room.

Its moments like this that make it all worth it in my eyes. That plus the knowledge that things are sure to change soon enough. Nick took a risk and submitted his resume. It's hush-hush for now as I know people are watching him and his online pages like a hawk, but come July, things may change for the better. We really need it, and I think he will be a whole lot happier getting out of this situation.

I am personally sick of people telling me how to do things. I was berated this morning about how to properly vacuum a room. Now, not for nothing, but I have known how to vacuum a room since I was about five years old and was forced to do chores. He may think I don't know how to, but he can deal with his OCD tendencies and leave me alone. It was the same way for a while with his wife, when it came to me cooking, and I wanted to throw things. Why does everyone assume that I don't know how to be domestic? Is it because I am not Italian? Is there a stigma against certain backgrounds that make people think they aren't domestic? Sometimes I wonder.

This Day's a Perfect Shade of Dark Blue

So today was unusually pleasant. Partially because I take pleasure in odd things that happen in kids lives, and thrive off of telling ridiculous stories to make the scenarios that happen less scary.

The eldest of the kids I watch is in the process of losing her first baby tooth. She has it in her head that if it falls out she will look like one of the homeless old men off the streets of Philly. I told her the story of the tooth fairy, and how when she loses a tooth she not only gets a coin, but the tooth fairy sprinkles dust on her in order to make the new tooth grown in the old one's place. I also told her if she was smart she would lose it at school in order to be able to get a trip to the school nurse as well as a treat. She now is brushing that tooth vigorously as I type, and mumbling something to the affect of nobody ever telling her about a "real fairy" and how unfair this whole house is. I think it is adorable, and told her that if she loses the tooth at home, she can still sneak it in to school and say she lost it while riding on the bus. I think I may have created a monster.

The younger kids in the house also had an eventful day. I was in the middle of changing the boy, and he slams his finger up his nose, while also yelling at the top of his lungs "nose!!" I laughed at it for a second and finished dressing him. I went into the kitchen to dispose of his diaper only to hear a blood curdling scream out of his sister who was sitting with him. I whipped around to see the boy saying "uh oh" as blood trickled out of his nose. I cleaned him up and tried to console his basket-case sister. They seemed ok with it till it came time to color later on. His sister grabbed her crayon of choice, red, and decided that she would color the nose of a puppy dark red, and say "uh oh"

Can't get enough of them today. Its days like today where we have so much fun, and I know I am going to miss them when we leave. I could leave their parents in a snap, but I would have a hard time with leaving them cause they have just gotten to the point where they kiss me goodnight, and tell me they love me. Its things like this that they don't do to their own parents or sister, and make me feel special. It makes me want to have kids... but then I realize that that would make me a true adult, and at least now I can give these ones back.