Swamped in Sadness

So the past week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me. First I moved into my new place... YAY!!! I was so excited to be in it that I didn't realize that I had a lot of cleaning to do. I spent all of Last Monday and Tuesday scrubbing down my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom in order to get ready for more stuff to be moved in. I also got all of the kitchen stocked with our stuff and am really happy to have it all out of the way. However I had to run up to see my sister in Newburgh, NY for the rest of the week, and spent a lot of time in the sun getting burned, and then later spent time avoiding the sun in order to stay cool. I also received bad news from Nick. His cousin passed away and we would have to go to New Jersey or Philly come the weekend.

Plans went into work for Nick and I to get on a train at noon on Saturday and not get off till about 11pm. It was a long day, but kind of worth it when it came to understanding how much we spend on gas on the way down. The viewing was this past Sunday, and a family I was not so close to, I got a lot closer to. I know that sorrow tends to heal wounds and strengthen bonds, but knowing the anguish that the girls' pregnant sister was in only pushed me to want to help her even if only to help her tend to the baby. (When it came down to it, she wanted her sister back so much that she didn't care what happened to the baby) The funeral was this morning, and we came home after that, knowing that we had helped a lot. Of course there was more for me to do since I am not home as in NY home, I am back in MD till Nick's last day of work next Wednesday. For now I am the one talking to the kids and telling them that life is ok, and Nick's father is sleeping. He has been sleeping since 4pm and basically deserted them after he got home, so I took over knowing that they need it.

I feel like there is a blanket of sadness over our heads, and I don't like being under the covers. I am also so drained and can't quite think which leads me to not be a big help when it comes to making things better for people. There are times I wish that I could be in two places at once. I think I would help people in one place and sleep in the other to keep up my energy!